Tag Archives: pagan

Warriors, Free Expression, and the Love of the Goddess

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pentacle-seasons

As you know if you read my previous post, I am involved, increasingly passionately of late, in activism related to reproductive rights and individual privacy. This work increasingly brings into my vision the inextricably related tide of extreme sexism that has been rising in public life over the past few years.  The public voice for this movement comes from the obstructionist Republicans, those who believe the Tea Party to be a worthy constituency, who feel Rush Limbaugh is a worthy spokesman, and who feel empowered to declare this a Christian nation.  This faction has set about forcing us all to live by a fundamentalist, unkind (and, I believe, inaccurate) version of  Christian dogma in which the big government that is staying out of their corporate crimes is empowered to evaluate all personal decisions and impose cruel consequences on those that don’t conform and don’t have resources for the fight.

I won’t go into all the ins and outs of why it is clear this nation is not now, and never has been, a Christian nation.  Thomas Jefferson et al. said it better than I ever could.  What is written on a dollar bill is not determinate of our spiritual zeitgeist. If it were, we would all be Masons. People who busily deny all of biological history on this earth are easily capable of revising the past couple of hundred years of social and political history without even breathing hard. Arguing against them is a waste of time.

But I will talk about speaking out, and how advocacy is part of being a priestess for some of us. And I will talk about how our community too seeks to silence voices that raise uncomfortable truths and challenging perspectives.

I am a priestess of the goddess Hekate.  To me, she is a teacher and patroness.  In return for her loving guidance and her teachings, I offer up my service to her.  And what that really means is that I strive to bring every act and choice in my life into congruency with my understanding of how to walk on the Earth gently, with love and compassion.  Clear sight, and the ability to summon strength and focus are among her many gifts (along with an unusual tendency for large black animals to come into my life).  My offering in return is to be her hands, her voice, and her heart in this world. “All acts of love and pleasure are my [the Goddess’] rituals” (emphasis added) is part of Wiccan liturgy. (If you can call it that – Abrahamic models superimposed on pagan worship usually are a poor fit because they imply more uniformity and more obligation than would be accurate. We need our own vocabulary for these things. But I digress.)  We are charged to move in the world with “beauty and strength, power and compassion, honor and humility, mirth and reverence”.

Most pagans I know do really well with the mirth, and the reverence, and with honor in the sense of trying to generally treat others well.  It’s the compassion, strength, power, and other forms of honor that seem to cause problems. Those of us who choose to use our power and strength and sense of personal and spiritual integrity to advocate, to speak out against intolerance, or to hold up a mirror that reveals flaws, are not always supported by others in our community.

Paganfolk tend to sort into a few archetypal categories. We have healers, we have bards, we have artisans,  we have those who tend the earth and her creatures, we have priest/esses, and we have warriors.   Most of us are more than one of these.  Those of us who have been formally trained as Wiccans have been encouraged to develop skills and strengths in different areas.

Warriorship, though, is misunderstood by many and taught by relatively few.   And warriorlike behavior is often actively squelched because, somehow, it does not conform to pagan community ideas about how to be loving.  Warriorhood is seen as at best a necessary evil; a commenter on line who was seeking to support my activism said that she wished the warrior role was no longer necessary.

How can we eliminate an entire archetype?  Why would we want to? Each of our possible roles has a critical part in shaping our societies; each reflects another face of the divine. Warriors don’t need to be violent, or cruel, or fanatical.  Warriors can use their strength and honor peacefully and with integrity to support positive change and succor the weak.  Warriors enact what we Wiccans tend to view as the masculine aspect of divine love.

Neopagans generally view Love as an important aspect of the divine. “Love is the law….”, “…[the goddess’] love is poured out upon the Earth”, and other passages commonly taught affirm this.  But the understanding of love of course varies with the person.

My Hekate is a dark goddess, and her teachings are about the mysteries of the inner places, of the borderlands between light and dark, presence and absence, life and death, growth and decay.  She has great compassion for all the world’s creatures, but that does not mean she will stop them from working and going through trials of learning.  Her love is the active form, the one the Greeks called αδαρε.  Agape is intentionally applied love, meant to bring balance and healing when events have created loss of well-being.  This, for me, is the love of God Herself.  Acting from a place of center, with clarity about my own roles, reactions, and ego boundaries, cultivating self-possession and reaching out from that strong core to help others, acting as a responsible steward of the beautiful earth and all its children, are the work of my priestesshood.  Warrior actions, including activism, are one way to do that work.

The Goddess’ love is also, to me, often “tough love”.  Balance exists in all things, and we don’t get to experience the rewards without doing the work and facing the challenges. Witches generally understand that digging into one’s own shadows, seeking self-understanding and compassion for oneself, is the central process in learning to find one’s divine strengths.  But when a member of the community holds up a mirror that shows some of the less than appealing stuff and asks them to think about changing it, they tend to react with complete affront.  I can’t count how many times I’ve been castigated for not being “nice” because I said something when witches were acting in ways that were damaging those they thought they were helping.

I have been recently chided again for speaking. I was told that I must have terrible and tragic “anger issues”, and then virtually ostracized through indirect comments by a pagan on-line group because I called out a member for using sexist language and assumptions as the basis for posting negative comments about a woman who most of us don’t even know.  Well, what was said was, prima facie, sexist.  And we are usually better than that. But how are we going to be better than that unless we allow our Warriors to speak up when they witness injustice?  If we are not willing to examine our own behavior, and consider changing it, we aren’t being honest, or honorable, or humble.

Another member of said group told me that divine love is completely accepting (thus snarkily implying that I was a failure as a priestess because I did not quietly accept what had been said).  He seemed to think that if I wanted to act out of love, I would just ignore the sexist cultural assumptions that are rising like alligators in a swamp all around me.  Because accepting would mean I wouldn’t upset anyone by pointing out that their behavior in perpetuating these cultural assumptions is part of the problem.  And upsetting people isn’t “nice”.

This version of all accepting, “nice” love reminds me most of the Buddhist concept of “idiot compassion”, where the actor’s ego issues compel them to afflict others with help that actually harms in the long run.  Idiot compassion is not based on true understanding of the others’ needs. “Idiot compassion is the highly conceptualized idea that you want to do good to somebody. At this point, good is purely related with pleasure. Idiot compassion also stems from not [having] enough courage to say no.”  –Chogyam Trungpa (emphasis mine)

Well, I am blessed by my Goddess with the courage to say no.  I am formed by many many years of working with the dying.  I know that not speaking because you don’t want to upset anyone is manipulative and self-serving; you withhold valuable perspectives and truths from them based on your own desire to avoid emotional challenge.  I know that being nice is not the same thing as being kind, or honest, or honorable, or strong.  I know that true loving compassion grows out of respecting others enough to tell them the truth, to challenge them, to hold them to a high standard. The goddess did not charge us to have “niceness and social harmony” among us. She charged us to compassion and humility, honor and strength.  She charged us to be her Love. She trusts us to be her Voice. She wants us to act as her Hands.  Turning away from those imperatives because we are afraid to rock anyone’s boat, because we think preserving people’s damaging illusions helps anyone, is a spiritual failing.

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Well, it’s been too many months since I attended to this blog.  The spring gets crazy on the farm, and riding takes precedence over writing often when the weather gets good.  But now….something is happening in my beloved funky tolerant Albuquerque that it drives me to communicate, to reach out, to proclaim to the world how deeply disturbed we should all be by these events.

What’s happening?  An organization called Voices for Family Values, a “nonprofit, nondenominational” organization that states on its website that its mission “. . .  is to promote Biblical worldview. . . ” is organizing a drive to pass a 20+ week abortion ban in the city of Albuquerque by a ballot initiative.  They need 15,000 signatures to get this on the ballot. They are hoping to pass a city ordinance in order to do an end run around our state legislature, which has consistently refused to limit the rights of New Mexican women to a complete range of therapeutic options for their health care.  Since Albuquerque is by far the biggest city in the state, and is the home of the majority of the abortion providers, they think they will thus be able to indirectly end late-term abortion options in New Mexico.

In the meantime, the fundy nut cases are poised to descend upon us.  An antiabortion extremist group, the “Survivors of the Abortion Holocaust”, based in California, are planning to come to Albuquerque and launch an assault on our local providers August 5th -10th.  These folks are really dangerous. They have been linked to bombings of clinics and murders of providers.  I will be standing with the clinics on those days, doing what I can do to keep the patients and their family members or friends safe, as well as the providers. Since their website posts photos of the three women who provide these services at the targeted clinic, I would consider them a direct threat to life and safety.

I am disturbed on so many levels by this kind of cruelty, by “political action” designed to intimidate, threaten, harass, or harm other people who are making choices and taking actions of which these folks disapprove.  This particular action has potential to make tragic circumstances far, far worse for a lot of people and families who struggle with making the decision to abort an advanced pregnancy.

Only about 2% of abortions are done after 20 weeks in the US.  88% of abortions are completed in the first trimester.  The risk factors for later abortion include Black race, younger age, less education, domestic violence victimization, and life chaos (defined by researchers as having 3 or more severe life events in one year.) Many of these women do not have access to resources of knowledge, information, or money, and that causes a delay in care.   And then there are those families who find out in the 5th month that their child is in some way severely defective, some to the point of nonsurvivable flaws.  And here in New Mexico, there is another problem:  rurality.  Women in rural areas must travel to seek this care.  It takes time, it takes money, and it takes being absent for a couple of days.  For some people. those conditions are very difficult to arrange.

All this is to say, women don’t have later abortions because they want to make their unborn child suffer.  Blaming those whose lives already are difficult and frightening because they don’t react quickly to a new problem is ludicrous. It’s unkind. It’s just plain mean.  Why not work on providing outreach and services to help women learn about their bodies so they will know how to avoid pregnancy and how to tell when they are pregnant?  Why not support women who are in need of pregnancy termination with kindness? They will never forget their decision, or their abortion experience, or their nonborn child, I assure you.  Bludgeoning them with barriers such as no health insurance, no local providers, slutshaming judgments hurled without knowledge of the true circumstances, only increases their pain.  It’s cruel.

I will be actively working to squelch this law, and to defend these women and their health providers from the forces of allegedly-Christian judgment and harassment.  And I will be back to blogging, because I have just had it with women, and pagans, and other non-privileged non-dominant members of our society being harassed and silenced. I am angry that the First Amendment, which as enforced at present provides only precarious protection for those  of us who belong to non-Abrahamic religions, is being used to justify the implementation of Christian fundamentalism as public policy.  I am sick to death of misogyny.  Women are the faces, and the bodies, and the hands and voices of the Divine Feminine, and I can no longer be silent while my Goddess is being abused.

All of my reactions on this issue relate directly to my spiritual path.  As a witch, I have a deep reverence for life, and for the miracle that is a woman’s body.  I have a strong belief in self-responsibility and the imperative that people must make their own choices in order to advance themselves both spiritually and in the mundane world.  I understand that death is not an ending, and that life and death must exist in balance.  I know that science and spirituality can co-exist, and syncretically augment our understandings of the inner and outer worlds.  And I know that the Divine, by whatever name you may know it, is also Love.  And Love is kind and helpful, not cruel, exclusionary, judgmental, and violent.  It saddens me that there are folks out there who cannot act with forbearance and generosity, particularly when they claim to follow a prophet who was himself kind, humble, generous, and nonjudgmental.

I am not interested in changing anyone’s spiritual path or beliefs. But I will stand with the Goddess to defend the vulnerable from attack and to keep these fundamentalists from imposing their bizarre, mean-spirited, scientifically unsupportable ideas about appropriate health care decision-making on others.  If you would like to join me, please email and I will make sure you are informed about any local opportunities for advocacy or support.

May the Lady of Love and the Lord of Light bring all of you support and strength when you need it.

Reproductive Rights and the Goddess

Expecting responsibility

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Well, okay, so here is a post that directly talks about what it’s like to be a witch in a world of muggles.

One of the things about neopagan ethics is that through a variety of pathways it always comes back to one simple statement, which my revered teacher and friend Albert Webb used to state repeatedly:  “You’re responsible.”  For what, you might ask? Well, pretty much everything. Certainly, for all your choices, your decisions, your actions and inactions, for the predictable impact of all of these on other beings and on the Earth.  For finding out what the rules are, and (assuming you’ve chosen the situation) following them.

This proves to be one of the aspects of being a witch that makes it difficult to interact with our current society, which seems to bend over backwards to assure people that 1- they are not responsible when they fuck up; 2 – that everyone always gets “do-overs”; and 3 – that whining is an appropriate way to get do-overs.

I have worked very hard for a number of years on the spiritual discipline of developing clear boundaries.  Yes, that’s right, spiritual.  We witches have a precept called the Rede that is one of our major ethical principles.  (There are various versions out there, and some other time I’ll rant about the details of how they play out when they are considered from an ethical perspective.)  But one phrase that’s always there is “do no harm” or its semantic equivalent. Well, if you don’t even take the time to figure out who is responsible for which actions and their effects, it’s impossible to apply this principle.  So knowing what’s my problem and what’s not my problem winds up being a focus of a great deal of spiritual work for the true witches among us.

As a result, I get very irritated by people who seemingly have spent no time thinking about who is responsible for their lives, their actions, and (dare I even use the word) their consequences.

I’m grading undergraduate papers now.  This is an activity which gets most faculty in higher education very cranky because it raises all of our concerns about the dire fate of humanity when the illiterate generations take over the world.  I am feeling particularly cranky because I’ve had a number of students who earned otherwise mediocre to horrific grades, who then got dropped to a zero because part of their alleged work was plagiarized. (This, after a nauseating amount of information and support provided to get them to handle this issue correctly.)

Oddly, it’s the bad papers that are more likely to be plagiarized (you would think it would help, but it doesn’t).  If I think the student truly had no clue and they’ve been conscientious in every other way, they get one week to rewrite and resubmit (with a grade penalty). But if they “hid the evidence” or otherwise have been remiss, such as failing to fix the problems pointed out in previous feedback, they get a zero and I’m done.

So here’s where we get to the issues of responsibility: a significant proportion of these folks seem to believe that it’s my fault if they fail.  And that I’m somehow responsible for shielding them from the consequences of their choices.  And so here come the emails and phone calls (which usually come when I’m grading the next inadequate effort, and am not in the mood).

Here are a few goodies:

  • The student won’t get reimbursed for poor grades by an employer who is paying for their degree.  Right on! I think to myself, while telling the student that their employers’ policies are unrelated to my expectations for performance in the course.
  • The student wants to inform me (because of course I’m clueless) that she will fail the course if she gets a zero on this paper. Now, I wrote the syllabus, and the paper is worth 25% of the grade, and she’s not been a stellar performer all along, but….thanks for telling me that.  No, I won’t change the grade.
  • The student tells me that she was pretty sure there was a big problem with the paper, so she asked her teenage son (who is good with computers, and thus the oracle for her online courses apparently) – but he said it was okay, because the same paper had been plagiarized by a lot of other students.  I take a deep breath and say, “Maybe next time you are concerned you should ask the instructor, who is likely to be more familiar with the standards for the course than your son is.”

And on and on we go.  Somehow these folks managed to get through a whole semester in which this issue of using and crediting sources accurately was presented in many ways, over and over again.  And most of them got it, and did a good job. Some of the ones that didn’t get it, got in touch and got help and that was fine too.  And then there are the ones who are too clueless to notice how clueless they are, or who think that because I’m in a different state (of the Union, not of mind) they will get away with lying to me.

That’s the thing that I hate most. These people are liars. To me, to themselves, about the creative work produced by others, about their own role in choosing their outcomes.  And that’s one thing that is absolutely verboten to me, by my own understandings of what it takes to be an ethical witch.

Lying to anyone makes it impossible to honor the divine spirit within them.  I cannot view someone as a God or Goddess and then lie to them.  I cannot claim my divine nature by lying to myself or to others.  I cannot make the most of myself, foster my own growth, if I cannot be honest about my motivations.  I cannot learn if I do not grapple with the sometimes lamentable consequences of my choices.  Whining and expecting others to fix it is not courteous, it is not reasonable, but most of all it is against my religion.

Wouldn’t it be entertaining if I tried to shove my religion down the throat of the religious right?  If they were not allowed to lie because it’s against my religion, they wouldn’t be able to talk at all some days. But, I digress…..

Hello world!

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So….here I am, blogging.

I have been told by so many people over the years that I write well, that I have an interesting life,  that they would like to read what I write about my life and my reflections on the world around me.  They probably say these things because I’m weird, and thus intriguing. I have found myself writing  short essays about why I live as I live, or about my daily activities and choices and the ideas they inspire, or just funny anecdotes about my animals and gardens.  This blog is a first step toward organizing some of that kind of material and making it available to….whoever might be interested!

I am a witch. I am a priestess of the goddess Hekate, and a coven leader, and a teacher and mentor to some of my fellow witches.  My spiritual path defines me, and is central to the way I live: my choices, my attitudes, my judgements, all spring from my interpretation of what it is like to live a life in which every choice is a spiritual one to some degree.

There are many other things that I am besides a witch, of course. I’m middle aged; I’m bisexual; I’m an educator; I’m a nurse; I’m a white blonde who lives in a Mexican neighborhood.  I’m Leo with Capricorn rising. I’m a superb cook, and a fair hand with tools.  I am a horsewoman, and an animal lover.  I love to sing,  to laugh, and to think.

I have a small property, about a half acre, in the South Valley of Albuquerque, New Mexico. Over the three and a half years that I’ve been here, I’ve been turning it into a very small farm.  The process of doing this, and the reasons for it, have become an ongoing exploration.  My relationship to life, and to death, and to my community, and to my body, and to work and money, are all being explored in this laboratory of mine. Along with my relationships to food, and to how-to books, and to vermin and pests, and to tools, and to county regulations, and to thrift stores, and to public utilities. And to chickens.  It’s all constantly up for re-evaluation, all in motion, all evolving.  I am a work in progress. I invite you to witness my changes, and enjoy them with me.